|
Post by Tommy Collins on Jan 29, 2007 19:11:05 GMT -5
Tommy laughed and shooved Benny back. "It's only because I'm so much smarter than you. Those extra brain cells equal weirdness for your little pea brain," He said with a slow nod and deep smile. It was all in good fun, and in all actuality, Tommy never announced his good grades. Or his high IQ score. It just didn't matter to him.
Tommy looked over at him and studied his face. Would he really hate him? Could he? He would be werided out...that was for sure. They'd changed in front of each other before...football. But Tommy didn't have any feelings for Benny...not like that. However, that fact might be hard to explain as he was running away in fear.
"I don't know. Probably not," Tommy admitted. "It's not that easy, Benny."
|
|
|
Post by tmac on Jan 29, 2007 19:20:08 GMT -5
Benny snickered at Tommy. He knew Tommy was much smarter than he was, and it was something of a running joke between the two. Benny didn't mind, though, it's not like he wasn't smart, just not as smart as Tommy. "Okay, Einstein. You can get into college with your brain cells, I'll use my excellent football physique." He said, striking a body-builder pose.
Benny grew immediately serious at Tommy's tone. Tommy was rarely, if ever, this serious, and Tommy was worried. "You gotta tell someone, Tommy. I can tell it's really bringing you down. You trust me, don't you?" he asked.
[ooc - don't know what happened there...]
|
|
|
Post by Tommy Collins on Jan 29, 2007 19:29:56 GMT -5
"You better now keep flexing those muscles of yours. Or else all of the cheerleaders are gonna come running from class and kiss you all over..." Tommy paused and chuckled. "Or you can continue, just please give me enough warning so I can cover my eyes and ears."
Tommy nodded enthusatically. "Of course I trust you. I do...I just don't know...I don't know what your gonna say. And I don't....I don't wanna loose friends because of it. And I'm scared to death I am...I probably will," He took a deep breath and looked out into the distance. Maybe it was better to just blurt it out. "Benny...I'm...never mind."
|
|
|
Post by tmac on Jan 29, 2007 19:39:52 GMT -5
Benny let out a small laugh at Tommy's antics, but sobered as soon as he heard Tommy begin his confession. "Tommy," he began. He couldn't imagine what could possibly be upsetting him so much. "Tommy. There's nothing you could do that would keep me from being your friend." Benny jabbed him in the shoulder to make sure he was listening. "Nothing. I'm here for you." A slow smile formed on Benny's face. "Would it help for you to write it down, like when we used to pass notes in middle school?" he asked, hoping to lighten the situation a little.
|
|
|
Post by Tommy Collins on Jan 29, 2007 19:49:36 GMT -5
Tommy really wanted to believe that. That no matter what, Benny would be his friend. But the negative possibilities just seemed too...too real. He'd heard about what happened to gay kids. Probably seen it in the halls if he was paying more attention. So many things could go wrong. With his friends...and not to mention his family. That was a whole other bridge to cross.
Tommy cracked a smile. "Your notes were always so funny. Just a random...'you got a bugger on your face'...make me look...and nothing," He sighed at the memory. Tommy didn't want to loose that friendship. Not because of this... "Ok...ok." He unzipped his back pack and ripped a small section of paper from his notebook. Then he pulled out a pen and scribbled 'I'm gay.'
"You remember that whole you not hating me thing?" Tommy asked. "Just...keep that in mind..." He passed it over to Benny. Looking away, he waited for his friend's reaction.
|
|
|
Post by tmac on Jan 29, 2007 19:56:53 GMT -5
Benny let out a loud laugh as he remembered some of the notes he and Tommy had exchanged. He considered Tommy his very best friend, and was somewhat hurt that Tommy didn't trust him enough to share whatever was on his mind.
As Tommy passed him the note, Benny looked at him quizically. "Tommy. I don't hate you, okay?" he muttered as he looked at the familiar scrawl on the paper. He stared at it for a moment, before looking at Tommy. Then back at the paper, and back at Tommy once more. Tommy wasn't looking at him.
"Is this a joke?" he asked. "I know I've said this already, but Tommy, you are weird! You're not letting what Cathrine said get to you are you? Cause she's just a superficial know-it all. Really, Tommy, don't worry about her." He found himself rambling and paused. He nudged Tommy again, trying to get him to look at him.
|
|
|
Post by Tommy Collins on Jan 29, 2007 20:02:56 GMT -5
Tommy glanced over at Benny with a look of hurt on his face. He thought it was a joke? Well...he knew that it wouldn't have been compleately out of character for him to do something like that but...but this was real. Tommy jumped up from his seat and put his hands in his pockets. He raised his shoulders to his face as if he was cold.
"No...it's not," He said quietly. Then he reached out and snatched the paper from Benny's hand. "I knew...I knew it would...I knew..." Tommy struggled to say as he ripped the paper to shreads.
|
|
|
Post by tmac on Jan 29, 2007 20:09:48 GMT -5
Benny stared at his friend for a long time. Could he actually be serious? He must be serious thought Benny. He knew that if Tommy had been joking, he'd be able to tell. There'd be a twitch at the corner of his mouth or some other tell-tale sign. Nothing. Tommy just looked... broken.
Benny slowly bent down and picked up the torn pieces of paper. He looked at them thoughtfully, and then stood to face his friend. "Tommy. Are you sure?" He didn't know what else to say. This all seemed to strange. Tommy couldn't be gay, could he?
|
|
|
Post by Tommy Collins on Jan 29, 2007 20:15:37 GMT -5
Tommy let out a bitter laugh and looked away for a moment. Then he took a few steps back from his friend. He knew that he shouldn't have come out like this. But how else was there? Just letting Catherine spread the rumor...well she was probably gonna do that no matter what anyway. It just wasn't right.
"You'd think I'd do this if I wasn't sure?" Tommy asked his voice cracking. "Do you think that I would...I would risk loosing the people I care about if I wasn't sure? Yeah, Benny, I'm pretty damn sure."
|
|
|
Post by tmac on Jan 29, 2007 20:27:52 GMT -5
"You...I mean... I... uh... well..." Benny stopped himself and shook his head. He knew Tommy was serious and he knew Tommy needed him to understand. "Tommy, I..." Benny closed the distance that Tommy had put between them and put his hand on his friend's trembling shoulder. "Look, Tommy, this is kinda weird, but you know you're not going to lose me as a friend."
Benny heard the bell ring, announcing the start of third period. He glanced behind him at the school, then turned his attention back to his friend. The pain in Tommy's eyes was so sharp that Benny was taken aback. He sat back down on the bench and tried to pull Tommy with him.
"Tommy, man, I said I'm here for you, and I meant it. It just might be a bit tough to get used to." Benny winced at his choice of words. Geez, Ben, THINK, would you? he berated himself. "What I meant was... sh*t... I don't know what I meant. I'm sorry, Tommy..." he said, raising his hands in defeat. "But I'm still your friend and I'm still here for you."
|
|
|
Post by Tommy Collins on Jan 29, 2007 20:36:33 GMT -5
Tommy just watched his friend squirm. Positively squirm. Things could have gone worse, he could have punched him. Ran away. Asked him a few more times if he was joking. Imply that it would only take one real woman to set him right. But this wasn't too great either. "Yeah...I think you've said that this is werid enough times for me to understand," He said quietly while trying to hold back tears that were forming in his eyes.
"Tough to get used to?" Tommy asked quoting Benny. "Yeah well...for some reason...I'm not so convinced of your loyalty...call me crazy. Or weird...that seems to be a new favorite word..." He held his breath and nodded. "We better go." But Tommy took his bag and sprinted away from Benny, not allowing him to follow him even if he wanted to.
Tommy felt like there was a vice that was closing in on his chest. "Why?" He asked under his breath.
[out-Gym]
|
|
|
Post by tmac on Jan 29, 2007 20:55:26 GMT -5
Benny watched his friend go, feeling a knot form in his stomach. Tommy had confided in him and he'd completely screwed up. Not for the first time, he cursed himself for not being able to think before he spoke. There Tommy had been so worried about losing him as a friend, and what had he done? Made things worse.
Benny let out a string of curses under his breath as he headed back toward the school. He knew his friend well enough that he didn't follow him. Tommy needed time. And Benny needed to figure out how to fix things, now that he had screwed up so badly.
Sighing loudly, Benny brushed the grass of his clothes and headed into the school.
[out - hallway]
|
|