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Post by Angel Schunard on Feb 19, 2007 23:49:25 GMT -5
"Thanks," Angel said quietly, his smile growing. 'Yeah...it was," he replied. First date too, first...everything. Tommy was alot of firsts to him, and that was the way it should've been. he was glad he could give Tommy that; he deserved to be Angel's first boyfriend. It was more special that way. "Well, I guess. I mean, I couldn't really compare it to anything, but it felt good...wait. Why am I telling?" he asked, with a laugh.
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Post by Caroline Sweet on Feb 20, 2007 0:14:48 GMT -5
Caroline smiled from ear to ear. "Aw Angel that's great...and you are telling me because I'm living vicariously remember?" She giggled and then let up a yelp. Caroline had slipped down and was now sitting in the sink. The left over water covering her butt. "Oh wonderful..." She laughed at herself. "Sorry I'm sitting in the sink."
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Post by Angel Schunard on Feb 20, 2007 20:26:08 GMT -5
"Right, of course," Angel laughed, though he had to admit that her question made him wonder. There was no way Tommy wasn't good. He couldn't exactly compare, but he still knew. But what if he wasn't good? Tommy hadn't said anything, but then, Tommy wouldn't say anything...
A pause. "The sink," Angel repeated, on eyebrow slowly raising. "Were they out of chairs?"
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Post by Caroline Sweet on Feb 20, 2007 21:29:58 GMT -5
"I'm just glad everything went well...are you guys gonna go to homecoming together?" Caroline asked feeling guilty the moment that she said it. "I mean...if you're not ready that's cool and all I understand. But you know I was just thinking...cause I'd like to aww at you guys if you're coming. If not, no big deal."
Caroline giggled and just leaned back, claiming deafeat. "Actually the only chairs in here have holes in them. I'm in the bathroom. I'm in the library and Mr. Curry was glaring at me, so I figured I'd better excuse myself to the little girl's room...and oddly enough. This sink...not so uncomfy," She nodded to herself.
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Post by Angel Schunard on Feb 20, 2007 22:00:21 GMT -5
"Yeah, we are..." Angel replied with a slight smile. It was a scary thought, being outed to the entire school. But the thought of Tommy being there with him made things seem easier. "Are you going with anybody?"
"Well in that case, go for it," Angel laughed softly.
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Post by Caroline Sweet on Feb 20, 2007 22:06:11 GMT -5
"Oh great! I'll be sure to find you guys among the crowd. And if you ever need me just give me a call and I'll come running. I'm planning on wearing heels and I wouldn't mind sacrificing them in order to help you out," Caroline offered knowing that the dance could be less than comfortable for the two boys. The school was pretty much used to her...and it also seemed harder for guys. At least in her experience. "Oh yeah I'm going. With Joanne Jefferson. You know her? She's pretty awesome, just met...so we'll see how it goes. But I got high hopes."
Caroline leaned on the faucet and nodded. "I am than. I am indeed. If only my butt wasn't getting wet in the process."
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Post by Angel Schunard on Feb 21, 2007 22:56:41 GMT -5
"Running in heels? Ouch," Angel said with a laugh. He'd seen the heels some girls wore...looked like torture. Fashionable torture. He supposed that beauty came at a price...not that he'd really put much thought into it. "No...I don't think I know her. What grade?" he asked with a smile. It was good to know she had a date. Now he didn't feel so bad about gushing over Tommy. "She sounds great."
"But then the world would be perfect wouldn't it?" Angel asked with a fake sigh, stretching his legs a bit and crossing one over the other.
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Post by Caroline Sweet on Feb 21, 2007 23:12:11 GMT -5
Caroline giggled to herself. "It's ok. Heels are pretty awesome. Believe me. They make you feel like a million bucks...as long as you know...you don't break your ankles," She nodded to herself and readjusted the phone on her shoulder. "I think she's a junior. Yeah I think she's pretty cool. I don't know her too too well but that's what for first dates are for right?"
Caroline laughed heartily. "Aw Angel. I don't know this guy but...you must like him. I don't think you've said more than ten words to me in every class period. Which was fine, but now you're beyond adorable."
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Post by Angel Schunard on Feb 21, 2007 23:33:54 GMT -5
"I'll bet," Angel replied. The words were out before he'd really realized it, and he automatically wanted to take them back. Or crawl under the covers and hang up the phone. Either or. "I mean...for a girl," he added hastily, his cheeks darkening a bit. He groaned inwardly. It was not something he was thinking about. It was not something he should've thought about. So why was he still thinking about wearing heels? He was just glad he was talking on the phone rather than in person...that way Caroline couldn't see how mortified he was that he'd let something that personal slip. It was definitely not soemthing he wanted to get into...he hadn't even quite thought about it himself. Thought about what? he asked himself, his forehead wrinkling. That he sometimes felt more like a...like he was a...
He couldn't even think it in the privacy of his own mind. He was nowhere near ready to tell anyone else.
"I'm just...happy," Angel said truthfully, the smile growing on his face. Giddy was another good one. Just completely and totally blissed out.
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Post by Caroline Sweet on Feb 21, 2007 23:42:19 GMT -5
Caroline paused listening carefully to the tone in Angel's voice. For a moment, she thought that she was talking to the boy in her class again. The one that only smiled and nodded when she talked a mile a minute. He was a great listener, but Caroline was starting to like the more talkative part of him. Did he...did he want to try heels? Caroline shrugged. "Well...for anyone really...they don't discriminate. They may be pointy, but luckily they don't go alive and attack if...say a guy where to put them on." She left it at that though she wondered if that was even too much. Caroline believed above all a person being themselves. And if Angel wanted to try on heels...then why not?
Caroline smiled deeply. "Well I hope you stay that way honey. I think you deserved a little happiness."
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Post by Angel Schunard on Feb 21, 2007 23:56:41 GMT -5
"Maybe," was all Angel said, his whole body sinking a bit deeper into the bed. She knew. From that one little sentence, she knew. If Caroline knew from that sentence, did that mean others knew too? He bit the corner of his lip hard, a nervous habit. Maybe Caroline was ultra perceptive...or maybe he was obvious. Or maybe he was over thinking. Maybe he was definitely over thinking. "Maybe," he repeated, trying to clear his mind of all those thoughts. They wouldn't be cleared entirely, they never were. He just hoped to blur the focus a bit.
"I think I will, at least till Homecoming," Angel replied. He knew that the dance would either make or break them. Either way, they'd be outed. That was scary in itself. He tried not to dwell on it; not yet. "Well...I'm sure Joanne's making you happy, too," he added.
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Post by Caroline Sweet on Feb 22, 2007 0:02:23 GMT -5
"Oh Angel..." Caroline bit her lip and finally pulled herself out of the sink. "Hold on," She turned on the drier and waved her butt around under it. This time, another girl came in and left right away. Caroline rolled her eyes and realized that this was really gonna be funny when she was with someone and stable. Til then it would be a sad reflection of her love life.
Caroline moved over to the door and locked it. "Ok, Angel...have you gotten the...the gay pep talk yet? Cause I give quite a rousing one. With pom poms and all..." She explained. "Cause really Angel...you should be happy. And unless you're happy with yourself...you won't be happy...and that's just the introduction...you gonna let me continue?" She asked him hoping that he would.
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Post by Angel Schunard on Feb 22, 2007 23:25:11 GMT -5
"Gay pep talk?" Angel asked, his eyes on the ceiling for lack of anywhere else to rest. "I can't say I have...considering about three people on this earth know for sure I'm gay," he said quietly. Everybody else just had suspicions. True as they were, they hadn't been confirmed...yet.
"Depends...what does the gay pep talk entail?"
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Post by Caroline Sweet on Feb 22, 2007 23:37:10 GMT -5
"Three people?" Caroline asked somewhat shocked. She knew that her and this guy constituted for two of those three. Angel needed the talk...and she was gonna give it to him whether he liked it or not. "It entails me giving you the power and confidence to be yourself...at least I hope so."
"And now you're gonna get it whether you like it or not. Ok," Caroline took a deep breath and started, "This above all to thine ownself be true...fuck everyone else. That's what you gotta remember. Cause Shakespeare wasn't kidding when he said that. Life isn't about finding a mate to make you whole. It's about you being yourself and finding someone who loves you for that fact. For who you are. And if you're hiding then your relationships will be shortchanged. And so will you. Don't worry what everyone else says about it. Being wrong or whatever. No one knows how it is to live in someone elses shoes...or strappy heels before they've taken them for a spin. And since this world is so backward most of them don't realize that. But you're not alone in this. Never. You got me and the good old folks at the GSA. Hell, you'd be surprised how many people are ok with it..." Caroline sighed to herself. "Ok I kinda talked myself in circles but...Angel, sweetie, be you. Don't hide or else you won't be happy. Never wholly happy. And...you gotta be happy." She said sniffing to herself.
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Post by Angel Schunard on Feb 22, 2007 23:54:54 GMT -5
Angel was silent through Caroline's whole speech, his eyes never moving from their spot on the ceiling. She made it sound simple. Maybe it was. But it wasn't just...it didn't seem so easy. The fact was that while he'd probably get over people's words after awhile...he sort of needed a place to live. Which, if he were to even think about coming out to his dad, would be in jeopardy. He couldn't crash at Mimi's for the rest of his life. He had no job. He was still dependant on his parent and totally screwed if said parent turned on him. And worse..if he were to...hypothetically 'be himself', on the outside...sure there were people who'd support him. But there were those who wouldn't and wouldn't be afraid to let it be known. It wasn't safe. He swallowed in his dry throat.
"Maybe," he said quietly. "But..." he trailed off, trying to figure out how he was supposed to end that. But what? He was scared? True as that was, it wasn't exactly a good reason. Did he even have a good reason? If his father kicked him out, he'd...find something. And there was no certainty he'd get beat up. Maybe he was playing it up in his mind. Maybe he needed to finally take a chance. How long had he wanted to just...tell someone? How much longer had he wanted to act on what he wanted? It would make him happy...
"Maybe you're right," he said finally, his eyes finally moving off the ceiling. He hadn't realized he hadn't been blinking and quickly made up for it. "But...I mean...I'm not ready to go to school in a...I just need to take small steps," he said finally, shifting a bit. "I'm going to homecoming with Tommy...that's a start...right?"
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